A Passionate Passion

            I’m a passionate person who is passionate about sharing that passion with people that are equally passionate about learning my passion for passions.

            Have I said the word passion enough times yet?

            Well it’s still probably still less than the number of times I've heard it used in quotes, seminars, or ‘how to be successful in life’ lists.

            Passion is supposedly more important than almost anything else. Brush honesty and kindness away for a second, it seems that in order to do anything anywhere, one must pinpoint their passion.

            And hey! It’s true!

            Seems strange doesn't it? That even though I’m quite irritated with the word ‘passion,’ I am still able to admit that without it, life is dull. Maybe even pointless.

            See, passion is the thing you could do all your life. It is writing, dancing, playing football, studying chemistry, teaching, or folding origami. It could be anything; your passion is the thing that comes most naturally to you.

            Have you always been exceptional at the piano? No matter how hard it was, you always enjoyed it? Then your passion is probably piano. Maybe.

            It’s a complicated business this passion thing.

            They say that if you find your passion you will never work a day in your life. That your job will be like having a party and getting paid for it.

            Oh but I fear that this belief is a slippery slope to disappointment.  

            Here’s what I've come to conclude: sometimes your passion can feel like work.

            They don’t tell us teenagers that, because then we might give up.

            You don’t tell your two-year old that the cough medicine is 99% likely to taste like the inside of a Windex bottle, you let them figure it out on their own, because that is more likely to yield results.  

            Sometimes when I sit down to write, which I think is my passion, the words just don’t come. Every sentence sounds oh so stupid. And I get frustrated. Maybe next time I think about finishing the piece, I’ll get a little lazy. I’ll remember that I was struggling and might even put off coming back for a while.

            But it doesn't mean I’m not passionate about it.

            Just as the river of love never did run smooth, the road of passion probably has pot holes and toll booths. But doesn't mean you’re going to give up.

            It’s your passion because you can only take a break for so long. It’s your passion because when you come back, it feels natural again. And even if it doesn't, you keep coming back anyway.

            I went for a while thinking that finding my passion meant instant happiness and never working another day in my life (okay, I’m only not even an adult, and I've barely worked at all, but you know what I mean.)

            I've learnt that dedication, perseverance, and especially hard work are just as important as the mighty “passion.”

            They just aren't mentioned with the same admiration. Passion is always up on stage, all smiles and curtsy, a little over advertised. But dedication and hard work are the back stage hands that make the show go round, without them, passion is just a pretty face. 

Like a telescope into the past

For a long time, the word perspective was one dimensional to me. I didn't think about it very much, or fully understand what it meant. But after bumping into it several times lately, I've realized that it builds our daily lives almost single-handedly.

Perspective is that lens you see the world through. Some people may use a lens that only sees what they want it to see. Other people may see everything clearly because they are able ignore their personal bias (their upbringing, experiences, education, etc.) Of course, I’d love to be that last person, but I don’t know if I’ll ever get there. And I don’t know how far I am along in the journey to get there. But I do know some stuff. Here we go.

I know that I don’t know much.

I know that we humans are often too short sighted to know where we are going next when we are in the midst of something. We don’t realize the relationships we are in the midst of building until they are noticeably complete.

An example: I have been friends with a kid since 5^th grade. Casual friends; our conversation rarely scraping the surface. But suddenly this year, we became a lot closer. I wonder if every encounter since 5^th grade has led up to this friendship, or if it is simply something that has shaped up recently because of circumstance.  But I do know that I wasn't thinking about every interaction with him as a building block of sorts, it’s only looking back now that I can imagine the progression.

How many great relationships am unknowingly building in my life right now?  Maybe the kid I sit next to in AP History will become my best friend senior year, or maybe he won’t. We know so little about the way the universe is spinning life into existence. But I know nearly nothing is a coincidence. As Sherlock Holmes once said, “the universe is rarely so lazy.”  

Now that's a quote

“What’s the point of being alive if you don’t at least try to do something remarkable?” 

-John Green 

I found this quote swimming in the time-wasting sludge that is the internet and I’ve decided that I like it. When I saw it, I thought, “that’s what I want to do.” That’s what I’m going to do. But, unfortunately I had a massive realization.

I have done absolutely nothing extraordinary in my life.

Usually, I’m of the assumption that I am rather above all the idiots I feel I am surrounded by in most places I go. I’m constantly pondering what I need to be and what I need to do, and somehow that makes me feel like I am grander than everyone else.

But, the truth is, I have no idea what everyone around me is thinking. I can’t assume that what’s happening in my head, coming out of my mouth, or playing out on my face is anything more brilliant than those around me.

I began to wonder if I have ever done anything that would actually warrant my holier-than-thou outlook on the world. Okay…I sound like a total snob now. But, I don’t know if my recognizing my snotty-ness makes me more or less so. But that’s too much to think about.

Again, back to the point I was trying to make. What have I ever done that is extraordinary? Have I ever achieved anything that would actually set me apart from my peers in the real world? I’ve decided to take a glimpse at everything I’ve done and everything I considered an accomplishment.

None of the things I came up with have helped save a life or made one better. They were just certificates or publications that really only matter to me. And I don’t feel that it really falls into the category of “something remarkable”

How about you? Do you feel that you have done something remarkable in your life? Pursued something you had always dreamed of or created something wonderful?

And if not, why? And is doing the remarkable something you want to pursue?

Those are all the questions I’m asking myself, and trudging along trying to find answers to. It’s especially telling though, that all of these questions are yes or no, supposedly the simplest type of question, but they seem so gosh darn difficult.